Choosing a Side
The line between bitterness and forgiveness is very thin. And that between fear and love is even thinner. The choice may seem obvious but life struggles and hurts make bitterness and fear more logical choices. What must we remember in order to keep us from giving up?
Hope. We must have hope for others but most importantly we must have hope and believe in ourselves. For I’ve learned if you are not confident in yourself and your choices you will always be lonely no matter how many people you are around.
Who will I become?
Silent steps, gentle words, hardly making a sound. But when a life is examined what will they find? Loud actions, small impacts that make a difference, wisdom, love For herself and others. They will find a life well lived, Full of mistakes that have shaped her life
My first week in London has been eventful and very unpredictable.
I started the week uncertain of who I would meet and how I would make friends. Its been three years since I’ve had to be in a new environment and relearn places and make new friends and as a natural introvert this seemed daunting. At first I figured i would do things alone until I met people but that plan was soon blown out of the water as I made new friends and was invited to explore London with them almost right away! London is a great place to explore with friends and as the week went by that is exactly what I did, each day meeting new people and seeing new places.
And it was in theses social outings that I learned more about myself. I learned that I enjoyed time alone away from others and that when I am around too many people I tend to close off more. I also observed that I am a natural listener and more prone to asking questions of others instead of talking about myself but that there is also a part of myself that wants to speak out and be bold. Being around so many different people also made me realize that there are some personalities that I can only take in small portions or I soon become irritated LOL. I had a hard time being around people who had very dominating personalities because I felt like they were overpowering me and though I have a very gentle and easy going personality I don’t like feeling like people are walking all over me. So as this week is coming to an end I am finding that I am struggling to speak up more and try to overcome my introverted nature but also struggling with whether that is the right thing to do. Is finding one’s self accepting who they are or trying to change? I guess I’ll know in time, that’s what adventures are for right?
Till next time,
If anyone has every traveled you know that it can be hectic. You plan
well in advance, read up as much as you can and double and triple
check to make sure that you have packed everything you need. And when
the day finally comes to board your plane you are ready, actually more
than ready. You’ve probably memorized your flight number and
everything! But as much as you’ve prepared, nothing’s ever guaranteed
and that’s what I learned on the night of my flight. Running bag in
hand to check- in only to find that your ticket has been canceled and
you have to reschedule your flight. After an already crazy week this
seemed like the breaking point and it didn’t make sense. But I guess
this is when faith steps in. When nothing is working out as planned
it’s easy to ask why and get angry at God for not coming through but
it was this event that made me realize that what I plan may not be
God’s will, and what his will is, is what I want my life to be guided
by. I don’t know what God’s plan is for my life but I know it will
lead to somewhere beautiful.
London here I come!
My Random Thoughts
As I pack my bags I wonder where this journey will lead me and what I will find when I reach the end.
But there may be no end, for I have learned thus far that life is a continuous journey of learning.
I travel alone to learn more about myself and I hope that this journey will lead me to the women that I am becoming, I wish to know more of her, for she eludes me.