Posted in Thoughts

Peace

Here is a poem that touched my heart, I hope it does the same for you:

Peace, one of the noblest of aspirations  a word that gives people hope and a brighter future  but it’s more than just a word  it’s more than just a diplomatic speech for people to hear and sing like Martin Luther King but peace is also a call for duty a call to fight for what’s right and never stand down but stand firm to have faith in what you believe in  

And never abandon peace

By Saibulu 

Posted in Thoughts, What I'm Learning

Words of Affirmation- Declaration

Identity has been my struggle, who am I? Why am I here?

This past year has been spent searching for the answers to those questions. At this moment I don’t have all the answers but I feel closer and more assured that I am heading in the right direction.

Soul searching and prayer is all I can attribute my progress to and at this moment this is my declaration of who I am and a glimpse at some of my struggles….

  • I am a child of God
  • I am a citizen of the kingdom of God
  • God is where I place my trust
  • I have been put here on earth to make a difference
  • I must find my calling and get to work

****I will no longer let the opinions of others define me. Whether it is their silent, obvious, or subtle judgements. Stereotypes, prejudices , microaggresions etc..are not my problem to solve or enlighten people about, the burden is too heavy and not mines to bare,  it is simply not my purpose. These are issues that need to be solved by the those who display them, it is their sin to deal with.I will no longer allow their sin to affect how I view myself.

God created us as equal and told us to love one another. If your view of me does not fit that description in word and in deed, I will not tolerate that in my life or allow it to enter my thinking. I have put away my captive mentality and am no longer waiting for those who did me wrong to realize their wrong position. I am forging on to make a difference in the world. Others  limited thinking will no longer stop, hinder or bother me. They are not my source, only God is. I will continue to pray that they will one day understand who they truly are…..because if  I am viewed as anything less than a Queen, royalty, powerful, wise, and capable to do all that I aspire to, then they have not only underestimated me but themselves.

I am Great, I will be great, watch me be great!

Posted in Thoughts, What I'm Learning

Friendship

The bonds and ties with people, near and far away,

bringing hope and encouragement when needed, showing love in all ways.

Seasons and times change us, friendships come and go, but the ties and memories made are what remain.

– for the friends that come in and out of all of our lives may we find solace in the memories.

Below are pictures of my time in Bath

 

 

 

Posted in London, Thoughts, What I'm Learning

The Lesson in the Journey

“Not Being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.” – Francis Chan

I’ve struggled with my faith ever since I started college three  years ago. God has always been real for me. I’ve seen his presence in every aspect of my life but when I left home and started college I didn’t realize how intentional my faith had to be. When I’m at home I am surrounded by my families faith. No matter what I was going through, I could always rely on my fathers faith, or my mothers faith, or even my brothers faith to keep me encouraged and to see me through. Being around them strengthened my own faith. But when I went off to college my own faith began to struggle because I wasn’t plugged in or surrounded by people who could support and encourage my faith. But that’s not the main reason why my faith struggled, it suffered because I wasn’t intentionally pursuing God and his word in my everyday life.

At home I didn’t have to intentionally choose God, his presence was already there. For example, Christian music was basically all that was played whether it be in the car or at home. When I woke up in the morning the kitchen radio would have a sermon playing, so that would be what I listened to as I had my breakfast or cleaned the house. My mother would always pray with me, either in the morning or before we went to sleep and I would constantly find my dad and brother watching sermons on YouTube or my mom listening to African gospel choirs on there. The examples could go on and on, but essentially my parents had infused God and his word into their home. And because of that, when I was at home, that environment would be my reminder that I needed to pray, read God’s word and further develop my faith. When I left that environment, I still had my faith but I didn’t create an environment for myself that would enable my faith to grow.

College is not full of believers, I knew that going in but I hadn’t fully grasped that it would impact my faith the way it did. Like I said before I didn’t plug myself into a church or faith based organization to support my spirituality and that played a part in my struggle. I kept myself very busy involving myself in many different organizations and trying to be a leader on campus. I don’t regret my decisions to be involved on campus, but I do wish that I had carved out more time for God.

My time here in London has made me more self-aware about my personality and my dreams but its also made me aware of my faith and its lack of growth. My time with God had consisted of me reading a verse or chapter from the bible and praying before I went to bed and that was fine for awhile but I had stayed in that stage for three years! It had become second nature, I wasn’t getting what I used to get out of it and most of the time I was too tired to fully comprehend what I was reading. So I became more and more distant from God and started questioning my faith and trying to comprehend God and make him tangible. It wasn’t till I came to London and started delving deep into discovering who I am and who I wanted to be, that I confronted my issues with my faith. I came to the realization that God is big, bigger than me, and you, and this whole universe. There are things about God that I will never be able to comprehend or understand with my human mind but that’s what makes him God. The fact that a God that powerful would want a relationship with me and every other person out there, just goes to prove the unconditional love he has for us. I would be crazy not to try to return that love by intentionally choosing him everyday. Intentionally choosing to get know him by reading his word, praying, and talking to him. I have to intentionally choose to listen to what he has to say and intentionally choose to obey.

Faith has to be intentional.

-E

 

 

Posted in Thoughts

My Thoughts at Regent Park

Choosing a Side

The line between bitterness and forgiveness is very thin. And that between fear and love is even thinner. The choice may seem obvious but life struggles and hurts make bitterness and fear more logical choices. What must we remember in order to keep us from giving up? 

Hope. We must have hope for others but most importantly we must have hope and believe in ourselves. For I’ve learned if you are not confident in yourself and your choices you will always be lonely no matter how many people you are around. 

Who will I become?

Silent steps, gentle words, hardly making a sound. But when a life is examined what will they find? Loud actions, small impacts that make a difference, wisdom, love For herself and others. They will find a life well lived, Full of mistakes that have shaped her life

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Posted in Thoughts

We must take adventures in order to know where we truly belong

My first week in London has been eventful and very unpredictable.

I started the week uncertain of who I would meet and how I would make friends. Its been three years since I’ve had to be in a new environment and relearn places and make new friends and as a natural introvert this seemed daunting. At first I figured i would do things alone until I met people but that plan was soon  blown out of the water as I made new friends and was invited to explore London with them almost right away! London is a great place to explore with friends and as the week went by that is exactly what I did, each day meeting new people and seeing new places.

And it was in theses social outings that I learned more about myself. I learned that I enjoyed time alone away from others and that when I am around too many people I tend to close off more. I also observed that I am a natural listener and more prone to asking questions of others instead of talking about myself but that there is also a part of myself that wants to speak out and be bold. Being around so many different people also made me realize that there are some personalities that I can only take in small portions or I soon become irritated LOL. I had a hard time being around people who had very dominating personalities because I felt like they were overpowering me and though I have a very gentle and easy going personality I don’t like feeling like people are walking all over me. So as this week is coming to an end I am finding that I am struggling to speak up more and try to overcome my introverted nature but also struggling with whether that is the right thing to do. Is finding one’s self accepting who they are or trying to change? I guess I’ll know in time, that’s what adventures are for right?

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Till next time,

-E

Posted in Thoughts

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

If anyone has every traveled you know that it can be hectic. You plan
well in advance, read up as much as you can and double and triple
check to make sure that you have packed everything you need. And when
the day finally comes to board your plane you are ready, actually more
than ready. You’ve  probably memorized your flight number and
everything! But as much as you’ve prepared, nothing’s ever guaranteed
and that’s what I learned on the night of my flight. Running bag in
hand to check- in only to find that your ticket has been canceled and
you have to reschedule your flight. After an already crazy week this
seemed like the breaking point and it didn’t make sense. But I guess
this is when faith steps in. When nothing is working out as planned
it’s easy to ask why and get angry at God for not coming through but
it was this event that made me realize that what I plan may not be
God’s will, and what his will is, is what I want my life to be guided
by.  I don’t know what God’s plan is for my life but I know it will
lead to somewhere beautiful.

London here I come!