A day in Stratford Upon Avon- Home of Shakespeare
I have big dreams, but sometimes they get clouded by the mundane day to day activities that seem endless and sometimes feel pointless.It is in times like these that I forget what it is that I am working towards and what I am trying to accomplish. Doubt settles in and I wonder if my dreams will ever come true. Are they too big? Am I too small?
I stumbled upon a quote from Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” when I was browsing the gift shop of the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, it said this: “Though she be but little, she is fierce!” It made me smile to say the least, but it also reminded me of all the times where I was insecure of my outward appearance, as well as in my ability. It made me think of how confidence plays a role in accomplishing my dreams as well as the role it plays in how I see myself.
If I am confident in who I am, what I believe in and what I can do; no matter how people perceive me at first glance, I can always prove them wrong or right based on my actions. My actions will speak (what my introverted nature has a hard time of conveying) who I am and what I am capable of. As I build more confidence in my God given abilities and in God, I believe my dreams will become more and more attainable because the way in which I see them will change.
Below are pictures from my Day trip to Stratford Upon Avon.
I was born in Arusha,Tanzania from the Maasai tribe. I knew how to speak Maasai and Swahili but my family left for the states when I was about five years old. Coming to America meant learning to speak English and my father taught my brother and I exceptionally. Unfortunately as I grew up I lost my mother tongue Maasai but continued to be able to speak Swahili. This created an identity crisis within me and to this day I still battle it. When I am in the states people usually are able to tell that I am different and ask me where I’m from. In the states I am considered African. When I go back home to visit, people there are also always able to tell that I am different and I am asked where I am from. In Tanzania I am consider American.
I remember growing up wondering if neither side accepts me, then where exactly do I fall. It wasn’t till a recent trip to Oxford that I began truly pondering this question. After being asked ( for the millionth time) where exactly I was from because I didn’t have an American accent and having to explain that I was born in Tanzania but raised in America; I spent the rest of the long drive thinking about it.
The funny thing is that though I was raised in America I was raised in the Swahili/Maasai culture so there were many things synonymous with the American culture and experience that I wasn’t able to relate to or ever experienced. And at the same time though I was raised in the Swahili/Maasai culture I did not have the full experience as would someone who lived and grew up there.
So my identity is split and so intricately that I am able to relate with both but never fully.
I am coming to terms with the reality that there is no one place that I truly belong to. The combination of both places have made me who I am. Both places have given me so much and drastically shaped the way that I viewed the world…..for that I am forever grateful.
Pictures from my day at Blenheim Palace & Oxford:
As another week in London is wrapping up I find a great contrast between it and the first week. The first week was filled with loads of people and new faces. While this week I found myself retreating to myself and exploring London on my own. There is a great sense of independence and growth when one ventures out alone. It creates a chance to learn more about yourself and to get know who you are. And there is a peace that accompanies it. For me I feel as though, you can never truly enjoy the company of others until you have learned to be alone and happy. And that is what I’ve learned to do this week.
Pictures are of my day at Kensington Garden and Little Venice 🙂
Choosing a Side
The line between bitterness and forgiveness is very thin. And that between fear and love is even thinner. The choice may seem obvious but life struggles and hurts make bitterness and fear more logical choices. What must we remember in order to keep us from giving up?
Hope. We must have hope for others but most importantly we must have hope and believe in ourselves. For I’ve learned if you are not confident in yourself and your choices you will always be lonely no matter how many people you are around.
Who will I become?
Silent steps, gentle words, hardly making a sound. But when a life is examined what will they find? Loud actions, small impacts that make a difference, wisdom, love For herself and others. They will find a life well lived, Full of mistakes that have shaped her life
My first week in London has been eventful and very unpredictable.
I started the week uncertain of who I would meet and how I would make friends. Its been three years since I’ve had to be in a new environment and relearn places and make new friends and as a natural introvert this seemed daunting. At first I figured i would do things alone until I met people but that plan was soon blown out of the water as I made new friends and was invited to explore London with them almost right away! London is a great place to explore with friends and as the week went by that is exactly what I did, each day meeting new people and seeing new places.
And it was in theses social outings that I learned more about myself. I learned that I enjoyed time alone away from others and that when I am around too many people I tend to close off more. I also observed that I am a natural listener and more prone to asking questions of others instead of talking about myself but that there is also a part of myself that wants to speak out and be bold. Being around so many different people also made me realize that there are some personalities that I can only take in small portions or I soon become irritated LOL. I had a hard time being around people who had very dominating personalities because I felt like they were overpowering me and though I have a very gentle and easy going personality I don’t like feeling like people are walking all over me. So as this week is coming to an end I am finding that I am struggling to speak up more and try to overcome my introverted nature but also struggling with whether that is the right thing to do. Is finding one’s self accepting who they are or trying to change? I guess I’ll know in time, that’s what adventures are for right?
Till next time,